Leadership
and Value lessons
Singularly
unexpected sources
Shiva
Iyer
10 Oct 2013 | Pune
I'd
like to share an episode that happened a couple of weekends back - I had just
returned from my daily morning workout. I had made myself a good hot steaming
'tumbler' of coffee and my attention was drawn to three children playing, in
the lane adjoining my house.
The
youngest, Kinnu(K) must have been just 1 year old and his elder brother Raju(R)
around 5 years. There was yet another boy, Jeevan(J), who was around 3 years
old.
J
and R were riding their trainer cycles and J's cycle had veered off into the
slightly slushy side. J got down and started to push from the side. Seeing
this, R stopped around 5 meters ahead and asked J what happened. - No reply -
just a huge scream and a sudden bout of crying from J.
Suddenly
another cry emanated in the distance - K, the younger sibling - started
bawling.... Understandably he had wandered some metres beyond his usual
toddling rounds and he was scared.
R
got down from his cycle and started walking back towards K. With a simple,
'Wait. I'll be back..' to J, as he passed him, R reached his brother and tried
to pacify him - no result. Try as he might, the 1 year old K, would not listen
to R. On the other side, J found his feet covered with slush and it probably
made him more irritated and he yelled; at no one in particular.
In
the early hours of a Saturday morning, not much attention was being given to
these 3 children playing.
R
walked back to where he left his cycle and rode it back to his brother who was
still weeping where he left him. He pleaded with K, his brother - 'Why don't
you sit on the cycle and I'll push you back home'. No response - the bawling
continued.
Suddenly
R just grabbed his 1 year old brother from the back, lifted him, and started walking back to where their house
was - a small distance of around 30 metres - He didn't put K down until he
reached his house and again said 'I'll be back..' to J as he passed. After
leaving K, now sniffling at their doorstep, R hurried back to J, lent him his
hand and said 'Come over to the drier side, I'll get your cycle out'. Oddly, J
started pushing the cycle, with a renewed sense of vigour, while totally
ignoring R!
R
then grabbed the front tyre and started to pull the cycle - but this seemed to
infuriate little J who started shouting at R. R's response was to come around
with a brick that he found, to get leverage on the slushy side, and put it just
ahead and under the cycle's rear tyre to help J get some traction and then
hurried back to the front and started pulling.
J
bent down, took the brick and hurled it back at R, narrowly missing R.
Surprisingly,
R didn't do anything, but kept pulling the front tyre, not heeding the ranting J. As J
was pushing, the front tyre of the cycle was suddenly shifted onto the drier
area and R just sat down with the front tyre still in his hand. He started to
get up and let go of the tyre. For some reason, this infuriated J more and he
made a sudden pull that resulted in the cycle turning sideways and with one of
the trainer tyres and pedals getting caught in the slush, yet again.
Now J was
very angry and he walked around for an altercation with R. R tried to explain,
but J wouldn't change his stance. Resignedly, R went back to get his cycle and
started riding it. Every now and then he'd kind of halt across where J was
continuing to struggle with the cycle as if indicating 'Call me if you need
anything'. But J never did.
Some
minutes later, an adult came by, looked at J struggling, and just yanked both J
and the cycle out and left them on the drier side of the road. J now walked
with his cycle back to his house and started complaining to an elder as to how
R had pushed him! The elder man called out to R and sounded him off. Listening
to the elder's voice, R's mother had come out and she started scolding R, for
causing trouble added that he didn't even take care of his younger sibling who
had reportedly been crying a few minutes back.
R
listened. He never interrupted or tried to explain, he just waited, then went
back to cycling. He called out to his little brother who was now having
something that looked like Cadbury's Gems in his hand. The little K, held out
his hand and R smiled and the two walked over to J. J was busy scraping his
sandals on the side-walk. R offered him some Gems and J suddenly smiled. K was
lifted onto R's cycle by R and both J and R pushed the cycle. The world around
them continued.
Later
towards the afternoon, when I went down to buy some fruits, I walked by R's
house - he and his friends were playing with marbles - I distributed packs of
Gems to all the children.
The episode had started me thinking. I jotted down a few points.
Often at times, friends and colleauges share their dilemmas on projects,
programs or activities. The response to the dilemmas centre around to the
‘don’t know what to do’ or the much more experienced response ‘continue doing
what has worked in the past’.
Both responses – are sooner than later, followed by an ‘escalation’ that
demand ‘more explanations’ and ‘justifications’. At times there could also be
rebuke and warnings - the objective
remains in limbo.
At these times, it is the true sense of Leadership and Values – as
espoused by Raju above – that shines through as different and effective.
Doing the right thing – getting into the heart of the ‘sticky situation’
personally, own, contribute and drive towards next steps. When escalations get
messy, the ability to absorb the same, without judgement and retribution,
builds character and promotes inclusion. The values and behaviours then undergo
the transformation that is subscriptive and not prescriptive. Leadership is
seen in doing the right thing.
The 'little gems of wisdom' that I cherish from the above episode, helped
reinforce my understanding values and how our behaviours reflect these -
fundamentally, focus on Doing the right thing, when faced with Volatility,
Ambiguity, and Uncertainty.
